A Plea for Positivity

I was handed a business card the other day by a young woman who does pedicures at a day spa. The name on the card was Judy Fantastic. "What a wonderful name!" I said in delight.

It turns out that Ms. Fantastic is using a nom de plume, so to speak (or, at least, a nom de nailpolish brush). With utter, disarming sincerity, she explained that she chose "fantastic" as her personal adjective because, she said with a huge smile, "I am fantastic!"

What a difference between Judy’s approach and that of most people I talk to!

When I tell people that I work with smart, successful people who want to explore new careers or who are seeking more meaning in their current careers, I'm shocked at the number of them who duck their heads, shuffle their feet, and declare (usually with embarrassed laughter), "Oh, well, that wouldn't be me. I'm not successful or smart!" (I generally have to bite my tongue to avoid retorting, "With that attitude, you never will be, either!")

It seems as if people have a superstitious need to make disclaimers. I'm not ready, I'm not smart, I'm not successful – all of these statements are somehow supposed to turn away the bad luck gremlins and instead invite the gods of good fortune to smile upon us. We blame our achievements and successes on luck and circumstance, and embrace setbacks with a litany of responsibility.

But life doesn't work that way. The fact is, we get what we focus on. Our brains have to filter through huge amounts of input, whether it's the birds flying past the office window or the latest financial news. The bird enthusiast sees an orange-crowned warbler sipping from the hummingbird feeder; the warbler is invisible to his non-birding co-worker at the next desk. You and I listen to the same news report; you're an avid investor, but I only stare blankly when you comment afterwards on the price of oil.

You've probably experienced yourself how a new interest – whether it's which car to buy or a sudden passion for Thai food – is suddenly everywhere you look. Established Thai restaurants appear out of the blue on streets you've travelled for years, and why, you wonder, is every third driver behind the wheel of the exact model and color of the car you're considering?

In practical terms, what this means is that we can set our own filters to hear – or exclude – whatever we want. We can focus on being fantastic and tune our filters for opportunity – or we can remind ourselves that we're neither smart nor successful, and set our filters for failure.

Personally, I know which I prefer. And I know which type of people I'd rather hang out with. What about you?

I invite you to select your own positive adjective. Which one most suits your goals and enthusiasm? Write down at least a dozen, and spend time trying them on, just as you would try on a pair of shoes; it's important that your personal adjective fit correctly and not pinch your aspirations! Then decide how you plan to incorporate your adjective into everything you do.
"A strong positive attitude will create more miracles than any wonder drug." Patricia Neal, American actress and philanthropist.